Captain Potatoes & Life nom nom nom potatoes

Every once in a while, you get a chance to reboot. Could be the start of a new semester, could be moving to a new location, could be a promotion, could be bean soup day at the old folks' home. Aah, bean soup. The only thing getting me going these days. Back on topic? Fine.

Beans are one of the longest cultivated plants in History. Impressive stuff. Seems like ancient civilizations in Thailand were already growing them back in the 7th Century (bC) and them cooky egyptians were burying their dead with them. Fascinating stuff, but how did we come up with the idea of making soup out of them?

I have no idea, but obviously beans have had a tremendous impact on the world. Flatulent impact. So follow this recipe and have yourself a big bowl of History.

Having watched Invictus this weekend, I got that same surge of refreshment. Hearing Morgan Freeman will do that to anyone, of course... In all honesty, the film moved me and acted as a small shove toward what I hope are greater things. To maybe work a little harder on school, to accomplish more, to play some rugby, perchance?

Tell me about your fresh starts people. How often do you get motivated or inspired?

I'ma go satisfy my beany urges.

The Cap'n

So there's this weird idea I've played along with in my head for ages now, and I decided I'd share it with you guys. Be warned: it's the product of an over-active imagination.

Imagine yourself in a college / university auditorium, auditing a lecture from a big-shot professor. For bonus points, imagine your college or university is acknowledged and important and that they're big on social status and so on. You're happily sitting in your seat, leaned back, listening to what the big-wig lecturer has to say. And then, some green alien / spirit / apparition thingy materializes itself onto your right shoulder.

You're freaking out at first, and quite rightly, but try to remain calm so you won't make a fool of yourself in front of your colleagues in your big-shot college / university. The... thing speaks to you, and warns you that if you don't run up to the stage and perform some ridiculously embarassing action in front of everybody, interrupting the lecture, nefarious consequences will take place.

The action could be anything, really. Think of the last thing you'd want to do in front of an audience. The consequences could range from the end of the world, to killing all people in that auditorium, to making Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 premiere in every cinema room forever. Basically, imagine a cooling appliance mocking a piece of excrement's mother, because shit would hit the fan.

Good eve, me hearties. I wasn't planning on making a blog entry tonight, but I checked my e-mail and found something that rattled me up pretty bad. Bear with me for a sec while I spill the potatoes (I hate beans).

Tonight, a friend of mine had to remove me from Facebook because I use curse words which almost got him into trouble (quoted). Granted, he isn't a real-life friend, more of an online acquaintance. This bugged me to no end. I know this guy to be of Catholic upbringing, and a pretty stern one at that. However, having Facebook friends that curse landing you in trouble? Either he's lying about it, or his parents still irongrip him like all good extreme religious fanatics do. I don't know which one I prefer, honestly - either he's submissioned by an external moral code, or his parents still control his life with it.

Fine, I'll admit I'm biased. It's true that I've met a lot of extremely religious people who manage to tolerate others' lifestyles and opinions while remaining true to their own. On the other hand, I've seen people so intolerant that they get violent. But this just takes the cake. I almost feel like going on an all-out anti-religion speech, but I choose to refrain from that due to it suffering from that very same thing I wish to fight - intolerance.

Intolerance in religion is like aggressive nationalism, in a way. You can only strongly believe in something if you agressively discredit everything otherwise. War-time propaganda exploits that very same principle, fueling citizen's love for their own country by making them hate opposers, while also averting those same citizens from contact with anything from abroad. Belief is stronger in those that will not question their ideals. Dogmas, and so forth. We've been over this before.

It saddens me to see so much conflict arising over these issues. Gay marriage? I've seen no valid arguments against it, all you hear are religious and conservative points (it's against God's will, family is meant to procriate, marriage is a sacred institution, yadda yadda). To be honest, the only good point against it is the adoption situation, and even then I'm still skeptical - the only real reason to prevent gay couples from adopting would be if you could prove that children in that situation are at a psychological disadvantage or that children adopted by a homossexual couple will end up socially retarded. Which I doubt. Show me an unbiased study, someone.

There are so many problems in society that could be quickly fixed if people would lose their religious / moral high-ground claims and think about the practical implications an idea can have. These conservative dogmatic views keep a stranglehold on cultural progress and efficiency, they leave us in the past. But don't think I'm attacking right-wings only - I'm not a liberal junkie, feeding on change and reform at any cost. That kind of thinking, a blind need to bring down everything that's been built because it "doesn't work", is just as bad. Sometimes the past has answers we can exploit for our benefit in the present.

Locke's idea of a just society envolved an abstract concept of gathering founding citizens who were completely unaware of their social or physical status to define the "law of the land", to determine benefits, duties, etc. Their minds would be free of any preconceptions, and hopefully through reason the result would be a fair and equal utopia for all.

In my honest, yet somewhat humble opinion (ok, not too much though) people need to rid themselves of these chains, these pre-conceived notions of life and consider everything on a practical scale - use justice and equality of opportunity and rights as measures instead of your imposed upon codes of morals and sacred parchments. The only reason I see that prevents us from reaching there is the political power struggle that plagues democracy - the fact that no one ones to give up benefits for the greater good, the fact that everyone prefers instant gratification to long-term reward. We're only human, after all.

I'm sorry, I know I said I wouldn't attack religion. I really have no beef with religious folk, in fact, you could say that most of my mates are believers. However, I can never really get along with someone who hates homossexuals because they are "freaks", who goes to church not because they want to (for enlightenment, spiritual peace, etc.) but because it's needed to "obtain salvation" or "favour in life", who blame their failures on themselves but credits his successes on God and who inherit their beliefs from their parents without any reasoning of their own (this goes for the hip youngsters in those youth political parties). Especially if you'd go to the point of avoiding a friend because he uses curse words. That said, I deeply respect believers who are able to find reasonable and thought out meaning in all that they do, and still manage to respect and co-habitate with people with radically different perspectives.

No pictures tonight, though I was planning on making intercalated pictures and paragraphs my new blog format (thanks Cracked!). I'm pissed, and nothing funny came to mind.

I'll go relax by counting my unpeeled potatoes.

The Cap'n

Howdy-hi. Tonight I come to you with a more sensitive topic: emotionality. It allows people to be in sync with other's emotions, and respond accordingly. It forms bonds, eases suffering, motivates, depresses, transforms. Emotionality is, in essence, that which allows one to connect with another, to trust.

I've never been a very emotional person - or, let me rephrase that, I've never had many of the benefits emotionality has to offer. Mainly the downsides. I get depressed somewhat easily, my mind is a ticking time-bomb for nervous breakdowns, and I'm pretty sure I'm paranoid (everyone who's out to get me told me so). What this means is I'm not easily motivated, am almost completely useless at cheering someone up and alienate many people I meet. Most of all, I rarely trust anyone.

Watching Chuck has really warped my brain, as far as trust goes. Imagine if anyone you knew, anyone at all, could be an undercover agent trying to get you killed or imprisoned. The show is NBC's version of paranoia. It does get you thinking though... how far can you trust someone?

Everyone has a brain (despite many's best attempts to prove otherwise) that tells them to look out for themselves. It's human nature to want the best for you and the rest for others, and that almost always interferes with keeping your word. If you've promised not to tell a secret, the social interaction that comes with revealing it to someone can cause you to crack; if you've promised to do something, the stress and trouble you have to go through to do so can make you skip it; basically, there's always reason not to fulfil a promise - otherwise, why would you need to promise it, right?

Having a long-lasting bond with someone may contribute a great deal to being able to trust that person, but not necessarily, though. Even best friends can be blabbermouths. Telling someone your deepest, darkest secrets is leaving yourself so vulnerable and open that it may not be worth the risk. Life isn't a Disney movie - who of you readers can honestly say they have a completely trusting relationship with someone else? Even if you are sleeping with them, I'm willing to bet you don't tell them EVERYTHING.


It's a matter of power balance, I guess. Revealing more about yourself than you normally would can end up leaving you feeling rejected and weak, unless the other person does the same. In today's dynamic of high-speed relationships were the whole world works basically like a speed-dating convention, very few people are able to build a connection with someone else that grows to the magnitude of complete trust. I see less and less best friends in the people around me, and relationships with more and more issues because of this.

Having that said, it takes a great deal of trust to be sure that someone will overcome these odds and come through for you. I can honestly say that, outside of family, the number of people I completely trust is a divisor of 2. And even within the family, there is a strong hierarchy as far as trust is concerned. There are a few I wouldn't trust more than my dog (and she knows too much).


I'm a very pessimistic person, I hate having high hopes because dissapointment is a bitch. I'm not necessarily a realist, as many pessimists claim to be, so I may be wrong about this, but tell me readers, what drives you to trust another? I'm actually very interested in your responses, because though it may appear otherwise (thanks to my brilliance), I only have access to my view on the world.

Back to the ol' farming-board.

The Cap'n

So I got bored of the standard Blogger model fast, and went to track down a decent skin for this here thingamajig. After a few bumps along the road I ended up with this one. Quite pretty, I think.

But not without flaws. For one, I can't seem to access the Blogger menu directly, and I suppose that might affect everyone who comes to the blog. Oh well. Just an extra hassle, is all. The other annoying this is in the comments - apparently when someone leaves a comment they "have writed" something. Appalling English right there. Oh well again.

Cheers, fellow spud-lovers.

The Capn'

Good evening, gents and lassies. As I sit down in my potato-powered computer, a thought crosses my mind: "What the fuck am I going to write?" It was highly convenient that that particular thought happened to cross my mind at this specific time. I'm a very functional person.

It occurs to me that when I have no specific topic in mind, I ramble on a lot. Look at the 1st paragraph for a clear example of this. So be warned, ye of feeble attention spans - I have no idea what I'm going to write about... yet. You see, I usually come up with my blog ideas as I listen to Bad Religion on my way home, and today I didn't go out. Got too pissed off at my University for possibly condemning me to spending yet another semester dealing with the single worst professor I have ever had (And I did spend a week learning how to shed fur with my dog. She was quite understanding when I failed). Them's the breaks, I guess.

I guess I could tour you around the Captain Potato blogging process. It's past midnight, and I'm sitting in my living room, laptop ahead of me on a table heating my legs thanks to the greatest invention ever - the "braseira", which thus far I have been unable to translate. Some lame sit-com is always on TV, right now we have Frasier. Not the best, my most brilliant work is done while peripherally watching Friends.

Oh, oh! There are news. Me, Bags and Tigs (brother and friend, respectively) were formerly members of a near halted sketch group called "Olhó Sketch". Yes, lame name. Now, having cut the fourth member of our crew seeing as he is now on to do greater things (like quiche), we've decided to reunite as "Fanecs". We'll be sketching in English now, partly because we're commercial sell-outs, and also because we want to be big on Youtube, yeah. Nexus Ones for us pl0x. So keep an eye out, I'll link you eventually.

I'll keep it short and sweet this time. If there's one thing I've learned as an "artist", it's that you can't force motivation or inspiration. Basically, it's best if I blog less and better than more and worse. So I'll update when I get another epiphany.

Death to all Carrots!

The Cap'n

Hi all. So as I was laying down the potatoe seed for next month's harvest, I realized that the blog may have become a little too serious for my taste (the other day we watched Carson Daly together and it didn't laugh at any jokes! Well, maybe that just makes the blog normal). So, I decided to do some investigation and come up with a new post that would differ somewhat from the previous two.

I found my answer on Newgrounds, oddly enough, where one user in particular inspired me to make this post. I didn't save the page or bookmark it, and now I can't find the guy again. Oh well. Credit to him (or her, I guess) anyway.

So a lot of buzz has come up about Taylor Swift lately, having won a bunch of awards including the Grammy for Album of the Year. Seriously. So I decided to take a look at one of the singles from that album (Fearless), "You Belong With Me". It freaked me out.

See, after carefully reading and re-reading the lyrics and paying attention to what she DOESN'T say in between the lines, I came to the conclusion that the music video is entirely misleading and diverts from the original intent of the song. Taylor has been known to make songs her fans can relate to, and that may have justified this gentle and benevolent music video that detracts from the obscene lyrics within.

Here's the song, and here are the lyrics. Take a while to read the lyrics first, then watch how the video takes them totally out of context.

...

Amazing, right? Just incredible. Now, for the 2 of you that didn't make the obvious leap I'm referring to, I decided to break Taylor's lyrics down so we can see her for what she really is: a delirious stalker. Yes, I would go as far as to suggest that the song be renamed "You Belong TO Me".

The lyrics can be broken up into 4 rough sections, which I entitled Enter the Stalker, A Hate-Filled yet Hopeful Contrast, Eulogy to the Victim and Despair. Let's take a gander at each.

Enter the Stalker: This song kicks off with a glimpse into what a typical stalker's life consists of - finding problems the victim has with his life and convincing him or herself that he or she (the stalker) is the solution to said problems.

You're on the phone
With your girlfriend
She's upset
She's going off about
Something that you said
'cause she doesn't get your humor
Like I do

Classic. One easily infers that Taylor has been tracking this boy's every move and is making mental note to herself of what he does, as if she is having an actual conversation with him (which she isn't, obviously, because the boy is on the phone). The video reproduces this scene well at the start, with her home conveniently placed across the street from the victim's, enabling her to effectively see anything he does until he shuts his drapes. It's interesting to note that Taylor had no feasible way to know that the victim's girlfriend is upset, since according to the video (despite it's debatable validity, as said before) she is in her house, with no means to overhear the conversation... getting there? That's right, the ever-so-strange country girl has obviously bugged the boy's phone. There's no way to tell from his facial expressions that she's upset, it could be just the boy who has an issue, or maybe they're having an amicable shouting match. And how the fuck does she get so specific as to know the reason she's upset? How can she possibly know she's upset about something the boy said without having bugged the phone? The last line closes the deal for her and effectively brands her as a stalker, deluding herself into thinking she'd be a better match for the victim than his girlfriend, yet come on, who wouldn't love a girlfriend that would partake in shouting matches? Fucking awesome.

I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music
She doesn't like
She'll never know your story
Like I do

Ah, we have confirmation of the fact that she was indeed in her room, and thus she had to have bugged his phone. Creepy. Also we see she's done some recon work on the victim's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend (at least in little Taylor's fantasy world), jotting down her musical tastes and specifically adopting tastes that clash with them, just to give her some sense of superiority. Taylor shows incredible devotion to her stalk victim, in that she would willingly modify her pre-existing tastes just to differ from the girlfriend he presumably is uncomfortable with. There is no indication that she likes these songs, yet she suffers for her love. How sweet, if not terribly deranged. And, of course, she insists that the girl will never know "his story" like she does - proving that Taylor went the extra mile in this stalk by running a background check on the boy. Information is power.

The song starts off quite well, situating us inside the deluded mental abyss of Ms. Swift, and giving us a glimpse of the victim and the obstacle laying between them - the girlfriend. How will she cope with this dramatic situation? Let's move on to...

A Hate-Filled yet Hopeful Contrast: Well, Taylor had begun to set differences between herself and the girlfriend, as shown with the forced change of playlists on her iPod. Now, we'll be treated to further contrast between the two, as Taylor attempts to prove that her benefits outweigh the girlfriend's.

But she wears short skirts
I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

Well, as any girly stalker would when faced with a problem, she bitches about it. You might think this is a solemn description of both their cases, perhaps even a sad referral to the fact that the girl is socially more advantaged (and probably physically too, since no one wears short skirts without having anything to show for it, right? Wait, I take that back. A certain beast forces me to). This would mean, of course, that your mind is tainted by the music video. Remember not to rely on that worthless garbage for anything I don't tell you to, it's clearly an attempt to salvage something from these botched-up lyrics. Now, if you'll take into account that this girl is, well, a psycho, and that she's established that she is more suitable for the boy, or be it, better than the girlfriend, there's no reason for her to admit defeat. In fact, it seems a lot more adequate to the song's theme that there be some underlying hatred towards the girlfriend in these distinctions. She never once admits the girlfriend's superiority, and attempts to paint her as a superficial bimbo with no psychological depth, while elevating herself to a platform of complexity, humility (as seen when she prefers to be on the bleachers rather than be a cheerleader) and creativity, as she imagines a perfect world where the boy will wake up one day and take the bleacher-girl over the cheerleading captain. Well, I'm all for true love and non-superficiality, but it seems to me that a cheerleader is a much safer choice than a pathological follower who remains in the shadows and lurks around in her room trying to glimpse into the boy's (unless you don't want STDs, in that case go with the creepy one).

The song isn't very well organized, with the sections I divided it into being split across the song. So, if you'll kindly scroll down a bit in the lyrics page, we can get to the second part of this section.

She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain
I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

Ah, here we have another comparison. Noting that she is clearly enfuriated with this cheerleader, she is only capable of making one further distinction before panicking and returning to what she previously stated. This is an obvious sign of a deluded woman making not very well thought out claims about someone she doesn't seem to know much about apart from her musical taste (didn't run a background check on her, it seems). The only other explanation I have is perhaps Alzheimer's or Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, which would actually fit the girl very well, considering that thus far she's done nothing but prove to us that she is, in fact, a mad cow.

This section allows us to feel the loathing Taylor feels for the girlfriend, and tries to make us despise that cheery bitch alongside the stalker, making her feel validated in her quest for hairs from the boy's shower drain. Of course, this part may also backfire, because after analysing it I only felt pity for little Taylor (and perhaps some fear). Nitidly this attempt to undermine the girlfriend's reputation isn't having much of an effect on the boy, so she resorts to ego-boosting tactics as we will see in...

Eulogy to the Victim: Now, Taylor tries to spout compliments and transmit her feelings for the boy, in very unsubtle fashion. Classic stalker, once again. Let's take a look.

Walking the streets
With you and your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking
This is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench
Thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

She starts off slow by paying indirect compliments to the boy, yet at the same time showing off that distinct mark of lunacy that has made her so lovable in society's eyes. For instance, she claims to be walking the streets with the boy, while paying close attention to his trousers - interesting that her eyes would be averted to the area of the groin. It appears we have the most dangerous kind of stalker on our hands, a sexual predator (much like the Tyrannossaurus Sex, only with longer forearms). Besides this, she seems to have convinced herself that the boy would agree to walk with her, when in fact it's much more likely taking into account the previous events that she is lurking in the shadows behind him, creeping up every now and then to whiff his perfume, violating countless restraining orders. She seems perfectly alright with this life of perversion, claiming that "this is how it ought to be". Perhaps she fears rejection from the boy, and prefers having his unwilling company without having to deal with it. She stresses that she's thinking a lot in this part of the section, possibly showing us that her stalking plans are all very well laid-out and thought through. So well, in fact, that she doesn't appear to have any trouble bugging the boy's phone, researching his backstory and his girlfriend, tracking him around everywhere while feasting her eyes on his crotch, as she tells us when she says, in the last line, "isn't this easy?". Clearly the work of a professional.

And you've got a smile
That could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since she brought you down
You say you're fine
I know you better than that
Hey what you doing
With a girl like that

Now she goes for the kill, moving in the heavy compliment artillery. She starts by going after his smile, presumably because she knows he must have some sort of complex regarding it (after all, she had the opportunity to look into the boy thoroughly during his background check). She overstates that the boy's smile could light up the whole town. At least, I think it's an overstatement - a colleague of mine pointed out that she could, in fact, be stalking Shocker, and that the man's electricity could certainly provide light for a town of medium dimensions if he so chose to propagate it through his smile. Another person told me it could be Raichu. I doubt it, but only because Raichu is a mouse, and girls are afraid of mice. Always. Moving on, the girl, after highly praising the boy's facial expression formed by flexing muscles located on the corners of his mouth, she mentions that she hasn't seen it in a while. This could be because she tracks the boy from behind, and rarely gets a gander at his face, but it seems to be explained by the following line, "since she brought you down". She claims that the girl is an anchor around the boy's feet, weighing him down and preventing him from being truly happy. We can only take her word for it, of course. Her access to the phonecall at the very start of the song let us know that the girlfriend dislikes some of the boy's comments or jokes, so that could be helpful towards determining the boy's status. Of course, it is possible that the boy is an unfunny dick, or that their relationship is more profound than one that hangs in the balance just because the two have contrasting humouristic preferences. Nonetheless, Taylor feels certain that the boy is being held down by this cheer captain, and equally certain that she could, uh, hold him up. Apparently she must have overheard a conversation of his with somebody else, as he says "I'm fine" and she picks it up from behind the bush she's hiding in. Because, of course, being a pro, she would never reveal herself to the stalked victim. Unless by reveal yourself you mean naked in a trenchcoat. Hm. Why is that so appealling...

Finally, it seems that nothing is working for the poor girl. Background checks, bugs, surveillance, reconnaisance, defamation, praise, and the boy still won't drop his girlfriend for her. A good way around this would be to let him know she exists, but Taylor decides to mope around instead, being the classy girl that she is...

DESPAIR: Having run out of options, Taylor screams to the heavens, groans to herself and possibly chants the following lyrics in her personal boy-shrine she made.

If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
You belong with me.

There's no need to delve deep into this one, the despair is nitid. The boy obviously cannot see that she is "the one" for him, because she is too afraid of rejection to show herself. But even so she is convinced that she understands him, having had access to his personal file, records and probably underwear drawer, and emphasizes the fact that she's been there all along, which lets us know that she's probably been following this guy around for a long time. The despair is ever-growing as she comes to the realization that nothing she does is having the desired effect, so she screams "why can't you see you belong with me?" She pictures a lovely, Disney-esque future with him, sharing adventures, having children, growing old together, running background checks on the milkman, but it seems impossible for little Taylor. The poor girl is sobbing towards the end, repeating the nonsensical lyric "You belong with me". The tears and hiccups cannot be transposed into words, but they are clearly there.

If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
Standing by and
Waiting at your backdoor
All this time
How could you not know
Baby
You belong with me
You belong with me.

Further ahead in the song we have this gem, which deepens the psychological fissure fragilizing her already unstable mind. Once again showing signs of Mad Cow, she repeats her declaration of love to the shrine, adding that she's waited at the boy's backdoor for a long period of time. I'm going to assume this means the house's backdoor, because otherwise it's too disgusting (well, I wouldn't put anything past Taylor at this point). She's hid in the backyard of the boy's house waiting for him to wander obliviously by. It could be to kidnap him, but seeing as she is rather shy, it's probably just to get some more snaps, hairlocks and toenails for the shrine. Another sign of her feeble mind is the fact that, although she knows she's been hiding in the shadows and following him from afar, she seems surprised that the boy doesn't know of her true intentions. This makes her burst into tears once more, almost choking as she repeats the final line twice.

Oh, I remember
You driving to my house
In the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me

Now, in a fit of rage, she begins constructing impossible situations in her mind, like the boy driving to her house when he doesn't even know who she is, let alone in the middle of the night. She seems to think she makes him laugh, although what she probably does is follow him around, and anytime someone else makes him laugh she derangedly takes credit for it, giggling to herself while pulling out her few remaining strands of hair. Also the fact that she insists she can make him laugh when he's about to cry is reminiscent of a mother comforting a baby by making it smile, which just brings dangerous Freudian notions into this catastrophe. She seems to know his favourite songs, which isn't that strange considering she knows that much about his live anyway, including his dreams which he allegedly tells her - this is obviously a psychological ploy she plays on herself, becoming convinced the boy told her when in fact she got the intel from several documents she compiled. If the boy told her, there would be no guilt, and little Taylor's mind is safe and comforted in the notion that the boy cares for her enough to tell her his dreams. Finally, she insists that he belongs with her, in a gruesome spectacle that has now become rather sad.

I could go on but as you can see it seems rather pointless, as the lyrical complexity doesn't go much further than this. The video has her showing up to prom in a gourgeous dress and totally dissing the girlfriend, possibly one of the many dreams Taylor had. It doesn't show the part where she kills her.

This just goes to show that we have the talented Taylor Swift Censor Team to thank for scrutinizing her lyrics and making a dandy little music video that will glue them together in a picturesque work of beautiful and humble art. Their work is truly appreciated considering other songs in the album named "Breathe", "Hey Stephen" and "Untouchable" (Platinum Edition). But that's enough creepy for one night.

See ya kids, got fields to plough.

The Cap'n.

Listening to some tunes on my mp3 player as I strolled down the challenge of a landscape that is the streets of Covilhã, Portugal (legend has it that the town has more climbs than descents! A must-see!), a thought popped into my head. It wasn't very painful, I'm used to it. Thought I'd share it with you, and maybe enlighten the few of you who actually read my posts (hi Mom).

A lot of my acquaintances have the annoying habit of asking others for advice. Well, to me it's annoying, I have enough trouble dealing with my own problems, no time to sort out your shit. So it got me thinking, why? What is so meaningful about another person's opinion that'll make you refresh your views on life and finally get a move on with what needs to be done? As I see it there are 3 situations one can be in where one asks for advice, and only one of them is truly justified. I'll do my best to sum these up and not tl;dr you guys - got potatoes to look after anyway.

First, you have those who don't necessarily know what the best course of action to take in a crossroads is, but they have their mind set on one (you could argue that no one knows what the best thing to do in situations is, but I'd tell you to shut  the fuck up - it'd be the right thing to do). Yet, even though they've mentally convinced themselves that that choice is the one they want to take, they seek advice. Notice how I cleverly italiscized advice. There it is again. Man, I'm good. What I meant with this brilliant aesthetical ploy is that these people don't want actual advice - they don't give a damn about what you think.

Sometimes they are sure of what they want to do, that it's the right choice for them, and want others to agree with them for morale. Other, more complicated times, they're unsure if their choice is the best, but are either sure they want to do it anyway, or are too afraid of the other (possibly better) choice. In this second case, you're expected to agree with the person's opinion unconditionally, or face wrath - unsure people are very defensive of their choices fueled by fear or uncertainty.

In essence, these people want to feel that the choice they want to make is the right one (don't we all?) and, to that end, they press people to agree with them. Because having a bunch of people telling you that you're doing the right thing makes it all better. Honestly, unless the people you're speaking to have some sort of credible level of authority on the subject (and since these topics are usually about life, not any matter in specific, and no one is the authority on life except maybe Morgan Freeman), why is their opinion any more valid than your own? If the choice you made is making you feel uncomfortable, it's probably wrong. Being able to admit that instead of barking at those who admit it for you is a good step towards not being annoying.

Second, you have those people who seem to have no judgment center in their heads. They find themselves faced with a dillema, and decide it's best to consult the Oracle (which in this case is some douchebag friend of theirs mostly) and from his/her words of wisdom (heheh, italics) they will draw their future. Only in a literal sense. These people will take others' opinions for granted. Sometimes even to the level of plain absurdity.

There's nothing wrong with asking for advice if you're genuinely stumped (see below), there is a problem if you're basing your life's choices on the ideas of a person without subjecting them to any sort of critical process. Think about it: there is no one person who can tell you what to do and be right all the time. No one is randomly more enlightened that others - the thing that differentiates your opinions may be past experiences, but even those can cloud judgment. Any time someone tells you something, question it (especially if he looks like a rapist. If it's a she, it's OK to let it slide a little, I think).

Third, and final, people who are genuinely confused. They haven't closed their mind on one single answer, they use reason to assess validity in other's ideas, but haven't quite got there yet. These people annoy me because it's much harder to deal with them - in the other cases you either just agree or say whatever. Besides that, it's what everyone should be doing. As has been said, no one is in sole possession of the Truth (unless it's what you called a potatoe of yours, like I did), and that includes yourself. Social contact and exchange of ideas has fueled democracy for centuries and it's the basis of modern co-habitation and life. You'll be hard pressed to survive if you go by your own judgment all the time, just as you will if you go by others all the time.

Hopefully your parents, friends, experiences and beliefs bestowed upon you a certain set of dogmas and morals which, while they shouldn't be unquestionable themselves, give you the basis from which you can create ideas, principles, goals and mould your rationality. With the impressive ability humans have to reason and critiscize, you're able to put everyone's ideas to the test and hopefully extract something of use.

Besides this rant about annoying people (I like to vent, keeps me young), I've been thinking about answers and what they really are. There is one common denominator between the three aforementioned groups - upon asking for advice, seeking an answer, what they want is an idea that makes sense to them (morally, economically, idealistically, etc.). You'll never accept advice you can't understand, or that doesn't fit with your personality or ideals at any level, regardless of it being the right choice or not.

In the end, there are no right or wrong choices (unless you narrow your goals to an economic perspective, and in that case you're limiting your life to money or profit? Good if you're a potatoe farmer, not good if you're... normal). The best you can hope for is to... man, this is going to sound corny (and I hate corn). Follow your heart. Do what feels right, after thinking it through properly, gathering sufficient data, whatever. Question authority. Fuck the system. And other beaten and old catchphrases which now oddly make sense.

The only time you're doing something wrong is if you're doing something you don't want to for no good reason except that someone else said it'd be the best choice. If everyone follows this, maybe the world will be a lot calmer place (anti-depressant producers will suicide en masse, though) and you'll feel a lot better for going through with your own opinion rather than someone elses, even if it goes wrong in the end.

Bad Religion, "The Answer"
Bad Religion, "Before You Die"

Listen to these songs, and think about them.

Oh, and feel free to question all I've said. After all, I'm just a humble Potato Captain.

The Cap'n

First off, it must be apparent that the idiom of this particular blog has shifted toward more... how to put it... englishey grounds. Yes, englishey. Look it up. The reason behind this is that I'm more comfortable with the Queen's rather than Portuguese, a.k.a. it's easier to make amusing and witty retorts in English. Deal with it, I know I am :c

I'm here to talk about a condition I affectionately refer to as Peter (although it prefers "Hourglass Syndrome"). It's a sunuvabitch of a depressing status which you can sink into, oddly enough, when you're on vacation. Basically, whenever you feel like the few, precious days you have off are slipping away between your fingers, and you're not doing enough to enjoy the moment, you've got Hourglass. I suspect everyone has this on a weekly basis, most probably every Sunday morning.

I'm on vacation between semesters, and my holiday was cut short quite a lot. Even though it's still another week or so until I have to go back to Law School, the fact that my time was shortened seems to bug me. I don't want to feel the days blend in together, I want to do something every day that makes it memorable. Blending in together is for school days.

There seems to be no way out, though. It's not feasible to have some great plan for each and every day - heck, even the plans I have for only a few days seem increasingly harder to juggle. So be on the lookout for this condition guys, it's worse than AIDS, in a way (OK, maybe not).

I'm off for now, got potatoes to harvest.

The Cap'n

Perdi as informações do Aah, Um Cogumelo! e portanto não posso actualizá-lo, o que era a minha intenção original. De qualquer forma, novatos e veteranos desse blog podem apreciar as minhas frases lindas que deverão servir de inspiração a muitos ditadores do séc. XXII.

São 01:34 AM no momento em que escrevo, ou melhor, no momento em que violo o meu teclado com os meus dedos indicadores (com alguma participação dos restantes - são algo mais assustadiçoes e têm medo das consequências jurídico-legais que acompanham a acusação de violação. Que meninas.), e estou perfeitamente aborrecido / hiperactivo. Daí que tenha nascido este blog.

Deixem-me começar por dizer o que vai na mente de todos: o Blogger só oferece um modelo pré-definido aceitável para um blog decente, e é este. Os outros são algo, bom, como dizer isto de forma politicamente correcta, paneleiros.

Mas estar aborrecido tem as suas vantagens. De facto, a decadência espiritual originou grandes obras na história da Humanidade, a Torre de Pisa (ninguém me convence que aquilo não foi feito para despachar por falta de motivação), os Jonas Brothers, eu próprio (as coisas que se descobrem através dos diários da mãe). É necessário extrair da monotonia aquele pózinho mágico que faz a creatividade desabro-... des-... OK, não consigo dizer aquela palavra num tom sério.

Acho que não consigo contribuir muito mais neste momento. Fiquei triste de repente - mood swings são muito comuns a esta hora, não chorem por mim. Eu fico bem. Acho. asuagsdflkans-

Capitão Batatas